my heart is beating too fast and i'm dizzy and i want to break him for touching you, but i don't think i can stand up. the lights are off and i can't see the blank wall across from me, my throat is parched and the glass of wine in my hand is something i can't bare to taste because it's the way you tasted when we last kissed and the darkness here is almost complete but i still can't get these images out of my head, i feel like your face is burned into my retina and i want so badly to cry and the tears well up but they won't escape, i can't escape, i can't break free of myself, of you, of anything.

i just want to cry, and i can't.